As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
