Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not