Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
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Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Drake has all the answers
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?