can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?