so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha