I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
