i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
