I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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