Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
