It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
