ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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