Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
