You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Randomize
