I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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