New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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