oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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