took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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