she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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