oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Drunk is not a location!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
