i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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