Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
