He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
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Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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