Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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