apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
