I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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