Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
