By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
