he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
