I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
areolas are like halos for boobs.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
