Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
