id be glad to
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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