I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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