Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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