I hate all girls vehemently.
I just threw up on my dentist
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
