I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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