my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
