How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
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You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
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I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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