dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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