I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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