True but thats because hes a fetus.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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