Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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