Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
