ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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