I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he fucked my hip out of place.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
