Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
