C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
