yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
