Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
