Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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