lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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