from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
