I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
