Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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