There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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