we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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