At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
