why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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