ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
