found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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