that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
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Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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